Marriage Counseling & Couples Therapy

Consejería para parejas en español disponible

Do you want to strengthen and improve your intimate relationship?

Are you a committed couple whose relationship feels off balance? Has that spark you once had in your relationship dwindled?  Do you feel like your relationship has gone stagnant? Maybe you seem to spend little to no quality time with each other, and are having a difficult time communicating your needs and wants effectively. Perhaps your conversations are often ending in defensiveness, personal attacks or criticisms, or one or both of you are avoiding conversations to avoid conflict. 

With a lack of time and life’s demands, it can be easy for a marriage or romantic relationship to be put on the back burner. We don’t talk about it often but romantic relationships require a lot of work and effort to keep them working and going strong. Heck, even non romantic relationships take effort to maintain. When couples stop nourishing and putting effort into their relationship, and life’s demands get in the way, it can create a strain.  This can lead to couples feeling disconnected, and distant from each other.  Without intending it, you can lose touch with each other’s goals, desires, and aspirations. 

Even without the desire to divorce or separate, the disconnection between a couple can grow.  The disconnection and lack of intimacy you may be experiencing does not mean you or your partner are purposely sabotaging your relationship.  It could be that life just got in the way and you both got stuck in unhealthy patterns.  Despite all of this, change is possible. With couples therapy you can learn how to repair, reconnect, and deepen that intimacy that once existed and you both yearn to have again.  

No Marriage Or Relationship Is Perfect

Many couples who start marriage counseling and couples therapy feel stuck in a rut, unable to move forward. Maybe you can relate. You are not alone. All relationships have challenges and struggles. It’s also normal for a relationship to change or feel strained when new things occur, such as adding a baby to the family, one partner overworking, disliking their job, getting a new job, or even taking care of an ill family member ect.

It’s common for issues and conflict to arise in relationships and marriages due to two different individuals being involved. Sometimes problems are unavoidable. In fact research by Dr. John Gottman, a couple’s expert and researcher, has shown that 69% of problems that arise in relationships are perpetual. Meaning, most problems are reoccurring and are difficult to resolve because the individuals involved are unique, with their own personality, upbringing, ideas ect. You might ask why do therapy then? Well, couples may not be able to prevent a reoccurring problem from surfacing, but they can learn to recognize their patterns, and change how they respond to the problem. In therapy you and your partner can gain skills to help you both respond and deal with problems that may come up in your relationship in a successful manner.

You Can Rebuild The Loving Relationship You Once Had And Both Desire

It is possible to feel less stuck, and closer to your partner. With therapy at Cascades Counseling Services LLC you can work towards uncovering the strengths of your relationship instead of only focusing on the negatives.  You can also learn how to communicate your needs and wants to your partner effectively.  To help you achieve your relationship goals I will use training I have received in Gottman Method Couples Therapy, a theory backed by 40 years of research by Dr. John Gottman. Through working with me, couples can learn interventions that were created to help couples strengthen their relationships, heal pain, and deepen intimacy. 

Nothing is off limits in therapy, we can talk about anything that is affecting your relationship. My goal is to provide a non-judgmental, safe space where you both feel comfortable to share anything. 

To help me identify the framework and interventions that will best help your relationship, I will do a thorough assessment. Which will span 3 sessions and will include online questionnaires. During the first appointment I will meet with both of you and begin the assessment process. The first session will allow me to get to know both of you as a couple and learn about the history of your relationship. After this appointment you will both need to fill out questionnaires online, independently. Learn more about these questionnaires here.  Completing the questionnaires can take 1-2 hours to complete. Once the questionnaires are complete I will meet with each of you individually for 45-50 minutes. The two individual sessions make up the last 2 assessment appointments. The individual sessions will allow me to get to know you both as individuals. Thereafter, we will all meet together again and I will discuss what I learned and we can begin creating your treatment goals. From there we will continue to have sessions with both of you and will begin working towards your goals.  *Note: Even though I meet you separately, my policy is to not keep any “secret” from either partner involved.

Considering couples therapy but still have concerns and questions?

Which couples do you have the most success working with? 

Couples who benefit the most from working with me are those couples who are committed and invested in their romantic relationship or marriage. There couples who may have challenges in their relationship but are not a high conflict couple.  These couples do not want to separate or divorce and there is no current infidelity. Both partners are wanting to actively participate and engage in therapy and willing to practice any learned skills outside of therapy.

I’m afraid you’re going to take my partner’s side.

My goal is to provide a safe space where you both feel comfortable and able to share anything. A good couples counselor is able to remain impartial. I am not here to take anyone’s side, I’m here to help both of you equally. The experience may be uncomfortable sometimes, because that is how therapy can be, but it should also be a beneficial experience where you both feel like you are heard, validated, and accepted. My goal is for couples to learn new skills and make positive progress towards their relationship goals.

Shouldn’t we be able to figure this out on our own?

Repairing romantic relationships isn’t always easy and sometimes, by the time someone is considering therapy, it may be because they feel they have exhausted everything else. There is nothing wrong with seeing a couples therapist to work on your relationship, there can be many benefits. We can get so caught up in the same routines in life,  that it becomes a normal part of our day and more difficult for us to see the areas where we are struggling. By working with a therapist you can gain a different perspective and uncover areas needing work that you were unable to see before.

What if my partner doesn’t want to participate?

For effective couples therapy, it is recommended you both attend therapy. If your partner does not want to attend therapy, you may benefit from individual therapy. Individual therapy could help you navigate any distress you are experiencing with your relationship. It could also help you learn how your relationship is affecting you and teach you communication skills and ways to cope. I invite you to explore the other services I offer: Life Transitions therapy and Trauma therapy.

Begin Today

Ready to work towards reviving and improving your romantic relationship, or marriage? Schedule yourself in my online scheduler for your free phone consultation today, below. 

During your free 20 minute phone consultation you can share what’s going on for you and your partner/spouse and we can explore how I can help.